Do you find yourself bewildered by people who create amazing lives without much effort?
If so, I get it and have been there too. In my curiosity, I began to ask some questions about what my life would look like if I could befriend ease. And even though I couldn't know exactly what my life would look like, I had a sense of "Ahhhhh" and a lightness that lifted a dense and heavy weight from my body. I imagined being able to navigate through life in a flow of ease and grace.
To begin to have more ease, I needed to discover what was keeping me from having it naturally. As I examined my beliefs, I realized that I carried the belief that in order to be successful it was vital to do 2 things. The first was to always make the right choice and the second was to work hard. And based on these two beliefs I began to fashion my life only to meet life with anything but success and joy. I never considered myself successful or even happy even though I did all I could to make the good and right choices and to work as hard as I could. All my relationships were fractured and disjointed, mostly because I was trying so hard to be someone I wasn't. I was making choices based on what other people or institutions said were the right thing to do, not by asking questions about what would be best in my life. I wasn't willing to be the different being I am here to be.
The next step was to identify that I had bought that life needs to be hard and that the only way to get anywhere in life is to work hard and to struggle. What I discovered is that this belief is one that is held by many people and in order for me to fit in I took it on too. Now I know to check in with my thoughts, feelings and emotions to ask if they are really mine and if they are of benefit to me. The ones that aren't I simply send them away, back to from where they originated. Acknowledging this has given me much more freedom to choose for me, to create a flow in my life that allows me to live a life with more ease and more joy.
Some people associate effort with working hard. It has been a relief to find that I can place the effort required for my life and living with more ease and see greater results. When I would put forth the force of working hard just to work hard, the very force of it worked against me. I was so focused on needing to get the results from working hard, that I couldn't receive greater possibilities. I had formed conclusions about what "working hard" and "life is hard" were and in that I had to judge myself constantly to make sure I was working and living hard enough.I would create drama in my life just so I could live a hard life. Crazy-Insane- Right?? Now it is more like riding a wave, I use effort to keep moving forward, but I am not attached to any specific result. Life has become a glorious adventure.
So what if your life and living had more ease?