So often people are brought up to believe that it is better to love others first and to give of yourself. It has been shared in plenty of places that one cannot give out of emptiness and that we need to fill ourselves up first. You may be familiar with the quote, "Love others as you love yourself." And yet, I still meet people who have a difficult time allowing themselves to have self-love. Is this true for you as well?
This has gotten me asking what is self-love?
Removing judgments that I carry of myself, my choices, my surroundings, and my relationships will foster in me to be empowered to be in allowance of myself and others. My judgments of others stem from judgments I have had of myself. Therefore, removing these judgments of my own being, will allow me to be in more allowance for others. Allowance for other people means that neither resistance nor agreement is required, just an acknowledgement of what one may be choosing. I envision that with allowance doors open and possibilities that were never considered begin to show up, in my own life as well as in my relationship to others.
A road block that one may come up against with the former ideas of self-love is that one can get too engrossed in oneself and lose sight of those around them. Some would call this being self-centered or selfish. And who wants to be judged as that? Yet, when considering that self love is the removal of judgments and being in more allowance, it becomes a love of being that radiates out to others and is a contribution. An alternative way of self-centering or being selfish is to ask questions about the judgments that come up within and with others. Asking what is the trigger that is bringing up this judgment? Where in my life have I been judged that way, or have taken that as a judgment against myself? From there I can ask, "Is any of that true?" and if not is now the time to release it? One method I prefer in releasing is to destroy and un-create it. However, you choose to let it go, acknowledge that it isn't true, it isn't even your own belief and as you release it you also release how it is having an energetic hold on others. If it is true, is this an area that you can change and grow into being more of you?
As I check in I am aware that there are many judgments hanging out there that keep me from completely loving my own being. And while this may all seem rather daunting, each judgment I release, moves me in the direction of being in more allowance and creates a greater awareness of other judgments that can be cleared out of the forest. I also find that one judgment may even take care of several other judgments. Starting the process and committing to it allows a magic of sorts to occur. One doesn't even have to understand how it all happens, it just does. Abracadabra!!
In time, it is my desire to continue to increase my level of allowance which in turns decreases the judgments. I have already noticed that I can connect to my own joy of living with more ease than ever before. This will become my constant practice- to be aware of my own judgments and to remove them to have more allowance. And as I make other choices around caring for myself I will be in awareness of any judgments that show up that I can address.
What if loving you is how you BE more of you and BEing more of you is the change the world needs NOW?